JOE GARDEN is the features editor of The Onion. He has portrayed an angry file cabinet on a late-night cartoon, a morgue assistant on a straight to DVD film, and, with his wife, Anita Serwacki, he has written for the cartoon Word Girl. JANET GINSBURG has worked as a field producer on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and is a former staff writer for The Onion. She has also written or produced programs for the Discovery, Sci-Fi, and E! Entertainment channels, and her work appears in publications such as Vibe, Blender and the LA Weekly. She lives in Brooklyn. CHRIS PAULS is a contributing writer to The Onion and does other stuff too. He lives in Middleton, Wisconsin. ANITA SERWACKI is a contributing writer for The Onion and has written for the PBS animated series Word Girl. She was music supervisor on the documentary The Kid Stays in the Picture and has been a DJ in NYC for many years, mostly on the burlesque circuit. SCOTT SHERMAN is a staff writer for Important Things With Demetri Martin on Comedy Central. He is a former contributing writer for The Onion and The Onion News Network, and has also written for the New York Times Magazine, Spike TV, and A&E. He lives in New York City.